Getting a speaking parrot on your birthday sounds pleasant, proper up till the chicken opens its beak and unleashes a string of poisonous profanity that may trigger a seasoned pirate to faint.
David’s new parrot wasn’t simply impolite; it was a completely grown, hyper-aggressive feathered mobster. Each second phrase out of its beak was offensive, vulgar, or legally actionable. David tried all the things to rehabilitate the chicken—comfortable classical music, mild whispers, constructive reinforcement. Nothing labored. If David yelled, the chicken cursed louder. If David pleaded, the chicken insulted his mom.
One afternoon, at his absolute wits’ finish, David snapped. Determined for simply thirty seconds of peace, he grabbed the screaming chicken and shoved it into the kitchen freezer.
Inside, the parrot went fully ballistic—thumping in opposition to the partitions, screeching, and kicking the frozen peas. Then, all of the sudden… absolute silence.
Panicked that he had by accident killed his birthday current, David yanked the freezer door open. The parrot calmly marched out onto the counter, meticulously smoothed its frosty feathers, blinked its broad eyes, and spoke in a flawless, upper-class British accent:
“Sir, I want to lengthen my most honest and profound apologies for my earlier behavioral lapses. I’ve seen the error of my methods and am absolutely dedicated to being a mannequin companion. Please, forgive me.”
David stood there, totally paralyzed by the sudden transformation. Earlier than he might converse, the parrot leaned ahead, glanced nervously again on the freezer, and whispered:
“When you don’t thoughts me asking… what precisely did the hen do?”
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