A Breakdown in Digital Romance


Equipping an aged couple with smartphones is all the time a high-stakes gamble, particularly when one is a hopeless romantic and the opposite is a brutally literal pragmatist.

One afternoon, whereas out for espresso with a good friend, the spouse determined to check her newly acquired texting expertise to inject slightly poetic ardour into her decades-long marriage. Sitting on the cafe, she despatched her husband a deeply sentimental message:

“If you’re sleeping, ship me your desires.
If you’re laughing, ship me your smile.
If you’re consuming, ship me a chew.
If you’re ingesting, ship me a sip.
If you’re crying, ship me your tears.
I like you.”

A minute later, her telephone buzzed. Her coronary heart fluttered as she eagerly opened the display, solely to search out his unfiltered, rapid-fire response:

“I’m at present on the bathroom. Please advise.”