A man walks right into a bar together with his pet monkey.


A man walks right into a bar together with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and whereas he’s consuming it the monkey is working wild.

The monkey jumps up on the pool desk and grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it complete.

The bartender is furious and says to the man, “Did you see what your monkey simply did?” “No. What did that silly monkey do that time?” says the patron.

“Nicely, he simply swallowed the cue ball off the pool desk, complete” says the bartender. “Yeah, properly I hope it kills him as a result of he’s been driving me nuts,” says the patron.

The man finishes his drink and leaves.

Two weeks later he comes again with the monkey. He orders a drink and the monkey begins working wild across the bar once more.

Whereas the person is consuming his drink, the monkey finds some peanuts on the bar. He grabs one, sticks it up his butt, then pulls it out and eats it.

The bartender is disgusted. “Did you see what your monkey did now?” he asks. “What now?” responds the patron. “Nicely, he caught a peanut up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it” says the bartender.

“Nicely, what do you count on?” replied the patron. “Ever since he ate that darn cue ball he measures the whole lot first!”