There have been two outdated geezers residing within the backwoods of the Ozarks: Rufus and Clarence.
They lived on reverse sides of the river they usually hated one another.
Each morning, simply after sunup, Rufus and Clarence would go all the way down to their respective sides of the river and yell at one another.
“Rufus!” Clarence would shout.
“You higher thank your fortunate stars that I can’t swim, er I’d swim this river and whup you!”
“Clarence!” Rufus would holler again.
“You higher thank your fortunate stars that I can’t swim, er I’d swim this river and whup you!”
Each morning. Each day.
For 20 years.
In the future the Military Corps of Engineers got here alongside and constructed a bridge.
However the insults went on each morning.
Each day. One other 5 years.
Lastly, Mr Rufus’ spouse had sufficient.
“Rufus!” she squalled sooner or later, “I can’t take no extra! Each day for 25 years you’ve been threatenin’ to whup Clarence. Properly, thars’s the bridge! Have at it!”
Rufus thought for a second. Chewed his backside lip for one more second.
“Girl!” he declared, snapping his suspenders into place.
“I’m gonna whup Clarence!”
He walked out the door, all the way down to the river, alongside the riverbank, got here to the bridge, stepped up onto the bridge, walked about midway over the bridge, then turned tail and ran screaming again to the home, slammed the door, bolted the home windows, grabbed the shotgun and dove beneath the mattress.
“Rufus!” cried the missus.
“I believed you had been gonna whup Clarence!”
“I used to be, girl, I used to be!” he whispered.
“What in tarnation is the matter?”
“Properly,” whispered the terror-stricken Rufus,
“I walked midway over the bridge and noticed an indication that mentioned, ‘Clearance, 13 toes, 6 inches.’
He ain’t by no means appeared that large from the opposite aspect of the river!”
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